She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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