so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
