Screwed.edu
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
