Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
