Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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