He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
it's like iHOP with fire
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
