somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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