We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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