I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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