i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Did I show you my penis last night?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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