U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
