They should really pass out barf bags in church
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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