i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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