He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
