im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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