i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize