After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
