Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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