Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
