i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
