So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
