lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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