i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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