i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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