Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
