WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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