Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
