Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
