You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
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I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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