I think I died a long time ago.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
