Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
