I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
