You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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