forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
