ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
