This is not my ceiling
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
