I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
