yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
only you would photoshop your dick
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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