You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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