I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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