i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
