Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
