Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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