Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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