I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
