im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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