do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
