When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
NoShamevember. You game?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
