just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
