WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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