She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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