Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How does one acquire holy water?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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