please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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