I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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