As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
