drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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