just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
