Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
