it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
