I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
