I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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