After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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