my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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