who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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