I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
